Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Bits and Pieces...

"What was Grandpa like?"
"How come you never talk much about Him?"
Good question.
Lets' see....

I remember beady sweat dripping down his face when he was cooking cracklins, cabbage soup or grillin steaks. He made popcorn on the stovetop with a kettle and paper bagin' and cowboy pinto beans and ham that were darn worth the braggin.

I remember the soft pink bottoms of his stinky white feet, and the smell of Old Spice, Bruit and VO5 hair, combed nice and neat. A strawberry blond color, real similar to yours and the smell of suede, leather and turquoise- every time he'd open closet doors.

I loved to wrestle him in his chair and tickle his neck way up high, just to hear that infectious wheezy laugh like that cartoon puppy spy. He would pin me with his legs and if I'd wriggle... he'd just get tighter, then he'd foof and jump up sayin' "Did ya see that barking spider?"

There was nothing like being cuddled up in his arms, or sitting right close while he played and sang those songs. Silly songs on his guitar about chipmunks and logs, strumin' chords and chantin' rhymes 'bout horses and hogs.

He also sat and drew with us every once in a while, cartoon sketches and people faces were more his style. I remember one of an old man, who well may of been his dad, all weathered from the years of hard work that he had. And when he'd draw or do anything with a concentrated face, he'd stick his tongue out the side of his mouth and bite down to keep it placed.

He also had a side to him just as competitive as anyone, be it b-ball, pool or poker winning was all the fun. Then of coarse there were those crazy family football gatherings. The house full of noisy boys and men hootin' and hollering. Blue and grey were the colors plastered on the walls. We even had a "Cowboy" trash can stood 'bout 4ft tall!

The most exciting games were on those very special days when the Cowboys and the Lions came to share the field to play. Occasionally, when the Lions scored, you'd hear a high pitch scream, and three girls danced the victory dance cuz that was mama's team!

He'd give parties in the summertime out back around the pool, and entertained his guests with lights, music and misters to keep them cool. I remember when our family room was once a partial bar, with a pool table and a jukebox and lots of candy and nut jars. He loved to play the part of the stylish social guy, whose jokes and silly banter had them laughing till they cried.

He designed mom's dream kitchen in our new luxurious home with an acre lot to play in and mile high bushes where we'd roam. Like a maze they'd lead somewhere to an unexpected place and we had our own rooms too ....yes, our very own private space!

But I was barely thirteen then, and I would have traded it all in...
just to see him smile again.

How did he die? Well, that is a question I knew I'd have to answer someday. Which is one reason I don't talk much of him, since I am not quite sure what to say. He took his own life and that's a hard one to explain, but now that I'm an adult in the world, I can empathize with his pain.

It is not our place to ask God why when He allows hard things to endure. What He allows is for our good and on this point I am sure. Dad worked hard and in the end struggled just as we all do, through life to just get through a day and know His promises are true. For "whatever" reason God decided that his work on earth was done. I can rest in this, and trust Him that it was best for everyone.

Thank you for asking because it's good to sit and reminisce,
and talk about the good things in my father... more like this.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Two sides to every story...

What kind of fool was I?
Always looking for the best in you.
Knowing what they'd say,
that you would have your way,
and anyone would do.

I wouldn't believe it's true.
I would only see the best in you.
Different one on one,
when all was said and done,
I knew it wasn't you.

Two sides to every story.
Two natures deep within.
Our hearts are for His Glory,
but our creature side is gory,
and it hates to see the sin.
Two sides to every story.

I realize and see it now.
I know why I saw the best in you.
Something in your smile,
your silly suave style.
Like a guy that I once knew.

A bitter sweetened memory.
Still I wonder what's become of you?
Do you know what you believe,
struggle through life and percieve
that He's watching over you?

Two sides to every story.
Two natures deep within.
Our hearts are for His Glory
but our creature side is gory
and it hates to see the sin.
Two sides to every story.

If I could do it all again,
there is so much that I'd want to do,
to take a stronger stand,
knowing now what is at hand...
but in weakness He comes through.

Those years now have all come and gone.
I'm still praying for the best in you.
That God would have His way,
and I'll see you on that day,
when we all will know He's true.
...and understand His -story.

Two sides to every story.
Two natures deep within.
Our hearts are for His Glory,
but the creature side is gory,
and it hates to see the sin.

Two sides to every story.
He knows our need for Him.
He has made us for His glory!
He has called us to be Holy!
He gives the strength within.

Two sides to every story.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; because these are opposite the one to the other; so that you may not do the things which you have a mind to do.... (Galatians 5:17)

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Tuesday, January 8, 2008

"Daddy's Girl"

God is good to give you a little girl.

There is nothing more humbling than
a little girl who loves her daddy.
You will be her hero you know.

Soon she will walk to you,
and then run to you with energy
and life and light that breaks
through the fog left behind
from a world of chaos
to sweet serenity and complete wonder.

It won’t be long before mama’s baby girl
will be daddy’s little girl,
and daddy’s girl she’ll stay.

A father is a little girl’s first affirmation
of acceptance and love
for who she is on the inside.

She will know her limitations
because you will set them.
She will take great courage
and walk with confidence
under the protection and guidance of
the strongest man in the world!

She will think great thoughts
and walk tall and proud
to have her daddy by her side.

Then that inevitable day will come
when there standing before you
is the second most beautiful
young woman in the world
who looks very much like the first…
but has her fathers’ eyes.

And suddenly you will think and act
much differently from your youth.
You will know what awaits her
and prepare her for it.
She will have your good sense
as one who knows better.

Perhaps one day she will find herself
in a difficult situation
wherein what she may want
is not your best for her.
She may weaken under her own misconceptions
and walk away with a broken heart.

You will be there defend her honor.
Then you will understand.
How good it is for God to give you a little girl.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Transformed

This rugged road leads somewhere.
I'm not sure when I'll get there but
I'm looking to my Lord now.
I know I can't afford to loose my way. . .

The time has come for me to
lead the life that I must lead.
Now is never too late to make up
for the past mistakes that I have made.

"Lord lift me up when I am down.
Place my feet back on solid ground.
I turn my life over to you,
and ask for forgiveness too.
Father I have yet to change my ways,
but I am looking toward those days,
that I will spend with Thee,
in heaven eternally."

If I live my life for Jesus Christ
whose innocent blood was sacrificed
for what we know today
a world of sin and much dismay.
In His name I pray...

This road may not be paved with gold
but in my heart a place He holds
and though darkness once entangled me
God is the light of my life,
and He will set me free.

"Lord lift me up when I am down.
Place my feet back on solid ground.
I turn my life over to you,
and ask for forgiveness too.
Father I have yet to change my ways,
but I am looking toward those days,
that I will spend with Thee,
in heaven eternally."

-Eddie
1989

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Monday, December 10, 2007

Verdad y La Vida

Este ruboso camino
lleva a alguna parte y no
estoy seguro cuando ahi llegare
pero ahora estoy mirando
a mi senor y se que
no puedo conceder perder mi camino.

El tiempo a llegado para mi
a llevar la vida que debo llevar,
y ahora nunca es muy tarde
para hace por todos los errores
que he hecho.

Si vivo mi vida para Cristo Jesus
quien inocente sangre fue sacrificado
por lo que conocemos hoy
un mundo de pecado
y muy desmayo
en su nombre yo oro...

Senor, levanteme
cuando caido estoy,
pongas mis pies en suelo solido.
Pongo mi vida en tus manos
y pido perdon tambien.

Padre, tengo todavia que cambiar,
mis maneras pero estoy mirando
hacia aquellos dias que pasare
contigo en el cielo por la eternidad.

Este camino ahora talvez
no estaba pavimentado con oro,
pero en mi corazon un lugar el tiene,
y aunque un dia estuve en la oscuridad
Dios es la luz de mi vida y el me libertara.

-Eddie

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Saturday, December 8, 2007

" A guy that I once knew"

I'd like to tell you a story about a guy that I once knew. You can ask anyone who knew him then, if this story is not true.

As a boy he was resentful of other kids in school who brought their lunch in neatly wrapped brown paper bags and never broke the rule. They had no patches on their pants and wore different clothes each day. At recess, they seemed so content when they would go out to play.

As he watched them from a distance, all bottled up inside... and resentful of the fact that he was poor, he hung his head and cried. He made a vow that when he grew all neatly dressed he'd be. He'd buy all kinds of worldly things for everyone to see.

As this boy became a man he kept the vow he had made. He worked and saved and found success, but a price he dearly paid. He skipped right through his childhood, not realizing what he had lost. He could buy almost anything, not caring what the cost.

He drank, he lied and became obsessed with money, power and name. Then played around with peoples lives, to him it was just a game.

His life became unmanageable, blaming everything but Booze. As he hit bottom he realized he's have to pay his dues.

He lost his wife and family. He lost his self respect. He lost everything but his bottle of which he did not neglect.

This man was sick, he needed help, but where was he to turn? Sow low are you, look up he cried, or surely you will burn. He did look up to a loving God who forgave him as you can see. For I'm sure that you all know by now the guy I once knew was me.
-A.A.E. Sr.

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Friday, December 7, 2007

Unconditionally

There is a feeling that I've never had before.
It started once I knew that you were from the Lord.
A blessing that I only hoped to ever find.
Something better than I ever had in mind.

Gods' own hand was in control.
On my own I'd still be looking
For someone to make me whole.

And He knew just what I would need.
Unselfish love that leads me
back to the Lord again.

Where is the feeling that was there in times before?
Not like when I knew that you were from the Lord.
There were no shivers, tremors, jolts of any kind
But loosing you once made me almost loose my mind.

A willingness to hear my side.
A tender heart that gently
helps me to see my pride.

And on those dark and stormy days,
A steadfast man that says
I'll love you for always.

There is a feeling that I've never had before.
I've never been more sure that you are from the Lord.
A blessing that I only hoped to ever find.
"God help me never take for granted that he's mine!"

A loving Dad we can admire,
a man who's willing to work hard
and walk through fire.

And on those days we loose control,
a man who says a humble
truth to make us whole.

There is a feeling that I've never had before.
It's knowing you are there and we're provided for.
In many more ways than just money can provide.
There's so much more you give that money just can't buy.

So when you fear it's not enough,
don't think for once that we want
more than you've given us.

We just want you by our side.
Our love is real, though
not completely without pride.

I know with all my heart this union will endure.
For nearly fifteen years we've never been unsure.
We're beyond "feelings" now, we know they come and go.
We have a bond in Love that everyone should know.

A blessing that we only hoped to ever find.
Something better than the world would have in mind.

God's own hand is in control
On our own we would still be looking...
for something to make us whole.

He knows just what we will need.
Unselfish Love that leads us
back to the Lord again.

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